Awareness, Avoidance,

Social Violence

Strategies to handle
Social Violence





Asocial Violence

The art of Defusing

Defusing -
Approach when talking

Stance and Movement
in Dialog


Often the situations will inflame your sense of right and wrong. That’s your ego talking. This is not about what’s right. It about staying out of the hospital and out of jail. Besides, it’s more right to stay healthy and free for those that depend on you.

There are common types of social violence situations that has been has classified (Ref. 4). Bear in mind that although there may be a primary classification for a scenario you find yourself in, there can certainly be overlapping classifications.

Monkey Dance (MD):
This is the typical male ego vs. male ego fight. It starts as a look or phrase that builds and builds until the face-saving exit is taken for both parties or that eventually escalates to blows. Understand that this is not self-defence. This is fighting. There’s a good chance you’ll both go to jail. Women can and do monkey dance too.
What can you do?
Don’t let your ego hijack your brain. Don’t base your strategy and tactics on ego. In all of these situations, your “rights” don’t matter. Especially to the bad guy. In most cases, you can just walk away from this. Issue a tactical apology if necessary and let it go. Just know that it’s possible for the bad guy to keep issuing insults and challenges as you make your exit. Just let it go. Choose safety and stay out of jail and out of hospital.

Group Monkey Dance (GMD):
The MD can quickly become a GMD. This is when the primary monkeys’ friends get involved in escalating the situation. It could be the opponent’s friends or yours. This can quickly get bad as the mob mentality begins to take hold.
What can you do?
Much of above still applies. The problem here is that there are other monkeys involved. Unless you have someone, you have a responsibility to protect, you should just walk away. If you absolutely must, you may want to issue a tactical apology on behalf of your group and start trying to de-fuse both the opposition and your own group. To the opponent(s), “Guys…I’m sorry. My buddy(s) had a little too much to drink. I’m getting him (them) out of here.” To your buddy(s), “Guys…come on. This isn’t worth going to jail over. Let’s go. We’ve got better shit to do.” If your friends won’t let it go, my advice to you is 1) to tell them that they are on their own and 2) you should pick better friends.

Territorial Defence (TD):
This is basically being somewhere you don’t belong. From being in the wrong bar or even sitting on the wrong bar stool. A clear example is gang turf. If the Loyal to Familia venture into the Bandidos territory, there is an increase for potential violence. This is not just location based, but could also be time of day based. You may be fine in an establishment during certain days of the week, but if you go in on Death Metal Rock night wearing a nice suit, you might yourself in trouble.
What can you do?
Don’t go to places you obviously have no business being in. If you do find yourself there, just leave as soon as you realize that you are in the wrong place. Again, right or wrong do not count unless you want the confrontation.

Educational Beatdown (EB):
This is to teach you a lesson awareness, detection, and assessment skills are key. Pay attention and make smart decisions. Develop people skills. Good etiquette is a dying art. And simply put, don’t be an idiot. Or this is to teach the bad guy’s peer group a lesson by making an example out of you. Don’t cross the leader. Much of domestic violence falls into this category. “You didn’t dress the way I told you, so now I’m going to hit you as punishment. Do it right next time.”
What can you do?
It’s important to “read the air.” Pay attention to what looks acceptable and unacceptable. Shut up and listen. Try to learn the customs of the situation you are entering. Ask a guide when traveling to foreign countries. Treat people with respect. If you don’t know how to act or what to say, don’t say anything. Don’t speak unless spoken to. The basics apply here.

Status Seeking Show (SSS):
This is typical group dependent and is about gaining status. “The Knockout Game” is in this category here the victim is knocked down typical there is no pre-contact, just the hit. This is extreme violence and is hard to spot often the attack is to a clearly disproportionate victim. For example, a 25-year-old male guy attacking a 10-year-old boy.
What can you do?
This can be triggered by any of the above that goes beyond the “normal” violence. This starts to blur the line into asocial violence. First, keep your awareness up as you normally would. Be prepared to go into beast mode with your defense. If you can de-value the status the bad guy is trying to gain, you may defuse it. Don’t be a victim, have the mind of a warrior and you will properly not be picked as a easy target.

Brain, human, monkey and lizard:

The social conflict in our brain - Our brain can be seen as divided in tree parts:

The human brain (neo cortex, thoughts)

The monkey brain (the Limbic system/social brain)

The Lizard brain (Fight/Flight/freeze)

In our safe world physical danger is perceived as les important than emotional danger. Thats because that the “monkey” controls the control center (amygdala) and slaps the lizards hand away. We easily get controlled/hijacked by our on brain when confronted with a possible threat or change in a social context.


(Next chapter)



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