DEFUSING,  APPROACH WHEN TALKING

If you want to deescalate a conversation then you must be aware of what you are saying, combined with your body language.

In a tense conflict, you need to know what helps you and what likely would escalate the situation:

Don’t challenge your opponent.
Don’t thread
Don’t give orders
Don’t provoke
Don’t insinuate that he/she is wrong

The remember-code in Danish: UTOPI

Udfordre
True
Ordre
Provkere
Insinuere

This should be practiced; it is harder than it looks like in writing. For example, the sentence “take it easy” is an order to your opponent, and an insinuation telling that he/she is wrong.

This is not a law or a true rule, sometimes the situations dictates that an order acutely helps, it might “shock” your opponent if you answer: “don’t fuck with me”, but in most cases this will escalate the conflict.
When you go into a dialog whit the intent to diffuse, you should listen. What is this person saying? And then you must reply. Sometimes in a conflict you have a choice that is given to you. “get out or I will smack you”. Well you can try to get in a dialog because you maybe have the right to be there, or you can choose to walk.

“First class training is the best form of welfare for the troops. The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle” (Ref. 6)

Sometimes when you are in a conflict it is just a good guy that’s having a bad day.
This is a situation you should be able to diffuse using empathy and verbal

Other times it’s a bad guy on his normal day. This is harder to diffuse and you must be ready to fight.

STANCE AND MOVEMENT IN DIALOG

(Next chapter)